stones against the wall --
clattering, they try to distract
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Suffering's Why
When we suffer in any way we always ask why. Why is that? Lately I've been pondering this "why." I've often found myself screaming this question inside my head (to whom?), yet I could not understand why I wonder why. And what difference it would make if I were given an answer? Why do I seek to understand why unpleasant things happen to me?
There is something fundamental about our need to understand our circumstances, the reasons things are the way they are, and happen the way they happen. And this is much deeper than simple curiosity.
We human beings instinctively reject what is false, and embrace what is true. We are willing to conform ourselves to the truth when we see it. For example, when we see why a rule exists, we are usually more willing to follow it. When we don't see why, or perceive it as false, then we reject it as a spurious, arbitrary falsehood.
We often are willing to make great sacrifices for what it true, good and just.
So when we are suffering, we long for an explanation that, in its truth, gives suffering legitimacy. In that truth, we can accept what is happening to us, even embrace it. We can be at peace with our circumstances.
So that is why we ask why: it is a hope that there is a true reason that makes everything okay. The search for that truth leads us ultimately not to a particular truth, but to truth itself, truth in its essence. That is, Truth Himself: Christ Jesus.
Unlike a particular truth, essential Truth applies to all of our experiences and circumstances. It is sufficient, not just for this or that, but for all things, in all times. It makes all things bearable, all things good, "all things new."
Truth desires to enter into me, and I into Him. Be still, my soul, and let Him in. For in Him I can "bear all things."
There is something fundamental about our need to understand our circumstances, the reasons things are the way they are, and happen the way they happen. And this is much deeper than simple curiosity.
We human beings instinctively reject what is false, and embrace what is true. We are willing to conform ourselves to the truth when we see it. For example, when we see why a rule exists, we are usually more willing to follow it. When we don't see why, or perceive it as false, then we reject it as a spurious, arbitrary falsehood.
We often are willing to make great sacrifices for what it true, good and just.
So when we are suffering, we long for an explanation that, in its truth, gives suffering legitimacy. In that truth, we can accept what is happening to us, even embrace it. We can be at peace with our circumstances.
So that is why we ask why: it is a hope that there is a true reason that makes everything okay. The search for that truth leads us ultimately not to a particular truth, but to truth itself, truth in its essence. That is, Truth Himself: Christ Jesus.
Unlike a particular truth, essential Truth applies to all of our experiences and circumstances. It is sufficient, not just for this or that, but for all things, in all times. It makes all things bearable, all things good, "all things new."
Truth desires to enter into me, and I into Him. Be still, my soul, and let Him in. For in Him I can "bear all things."
In Actu
What does Mary do after her fiat? After receiving her God and Savior in her womb we see her immediately go off to serve. She departs for the house of Zechariah to help Elizabeth in her last few months of pregnancy.
Mary does this at a time in her own pregnancy (the first trimester) in which -- as every mother knows -- she herself would have been very tired. She might have sought assistance for herself during that time. But she chooses instead to give.
Having received Christ, she carries Him to her family, and remains there with them, serving them. This is what it means to be Christian -- to receive Christ, and to live Christ. That is, to receive Him, and make Him present to others by giving them His Love. And how is Love made tangible except by service?
We have the great privilege to do exactly as Mary did. At every mass, we receive Christ, after which we hear the commission "...go in peace, to love and serve the Lord."
Mary does this at a time in her own pregnancy (the first trimester) in which -- as every mother knows -- she herself would have been very tired. She might have sought assistance for herself during that time. But she chooses instead to give.
Having received Christ, she carries Him to her family, and remains there with them, serving them. This is what it means to be Christian -- to receive Christ, and to live Christ. That is, to receive Him, and make Him present to others by giving them His Love. And how is Love made tangible except by service?
We have the great privilege to do exactly as Mary did. At every mass, we receive Christ, after which we hear the commission "...go in peace, to love and serve the Lord."
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Fiat
"But [Mary] was greatly troubled at what was said and pondered what sort of greeting this might be (Luke 1:29)."
and "... [Mary] kept all these things in her heart (Luke 2:51)."
What do we see Mary doing amid trying times? Pondering the events, holding them in her heart. At the annunciation, and during her anxiety as she searched for her missing son. She ponders, and holds it in her heart. What does it mean to do this?
To hold something in your heart means first of all to accept it. To accept it in humble accord with God's will, even when it is something troubling.
To hold it in your heart is furthermore to bear it in reverence and awe of the Divine wisdom that has allowed it. It is humble trust in God, and the peace that flows from that trust.
In this way, Mary offers us an example of perfect humility and trust, the way in which we are to react to our own challenges in life.
So with each unexpected turn in our lives, even the little things throughout the day, let us, by God's grace, hold them in our hearts with acceptance, reverence and loving awe.
and "... [Mary] kept all these things in her heart (Luke 2:51)."
What do we see Mary doing amid trying times? Pondering the events, holding them in her heart. At the annunciation, and during her anxiety as she searched for her missing son. She ponders, and holds it in her heart. What does it mean to do this?
To hold something in your heart means first of all to accept it. To accept it in humble accord with God's will, even when it is something troubling.
To hold it in your heart is furthermore to bear it in reverence and awe of the Divine wisdom that has allowed it. It is humble trust in God, and the peace that flows from that trust.
In this way, Mary offers us an example of perfect humility and trust, the way in which we are to react to our own challenges in life.
So with each unexpected turn in our lives, even the little things throughout the day, let us, by God's grace, hold them in our hearts with acceptance, reverence and loving awe.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Monday, October 6, 2008
Illusory Present
When I suffer, it seems the suffering will never end. When I am happy, it seems I will always be so. The first is temptation to despair, the second is temptation to complacency.
Over and over I fall for these two lies, no doubt proposed by the father of lies. It is a constant battle to understand the present circumstances for what they are, and to put them in their proper context. May the Holy Spirit help us persevere in this battle.
Over and over I fall for these two lies, no doubt proposed by the father of lies. It is a constant battle to understand the present circumstances for what they are, and to put them in their proper context. May the Holy Spirit help us persevere in this battle.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Logos
What does it mean that the Son of God is the Word of God? What does it mean to be The Word? What is a word?
A word is meaningless in itself. A word is something that points to something else, it is a sign that evokes in the person encountering it the idea or person that it signifies.
Applied to the Logos, however, we see the perfect embodiment of a word. I'm pretty sure I once heard someone point out that we do not say "the words of God," we say "The Word of God." Only one word is needed because it is The Perfect Word. This single Word is something -- someone -- who not only points us to God the Father perfectly, who not merely calls to mind, or shows us God the Father, but who in fact unites us to God the Father.
A word is used to communicate. The Word, the Perfect Word, the Eternal, Incarnate, Perfect Word communicates so perfectly that is effective, bringing about an actuality rather than a potentiality. That is to say that it does not merely evoke an image of the Father in our mind, but it makes the Father Himself present in our souls! The Word is the means to union with the Triune God!
As profound and compelling as this realization is, I am reassured of the truth of it by the simple fact that it is stated nearly directly in the opening of the Gospel of John. How dense I have been never to have noticed it. This basic truth that most Christians understand has taken me so long to appreciate.
I wrote it down because I fear my perfidious memory will not retain it.
A word is meaningless in itself. A word is something that points to something else, it is a sign that evokes in the person encountering it the idea or person that it signifies.
Applied to the Logos, however, we see the perfect embodiment of a word. I'm pretty sure I once heard someone point out that we do not say "the words of God," we say "The Word of God." Only one word is needed because it is The Perfect Word. This single Word is something -- someone -- who not only points us to God the Father perfectly, who not merely calls to mind, or shows us God the Father, but who in fact unites us to God the Father.
A word is used to communicate. The Word, the Perfect Word, the Eternal, Incarnate, Perfect Word communicates so perfectly that is effective, bringing about an actuality rather than a potentiality. That is to say that it does not merely evoke an image of the Father in our mind, but it makes the Father Himself present in our souls! The Word is the means to union with the Triune God!
As profound and compelling as this realization is, I am reassured of the truth of it by the simple fact that it is stated nearly directly in the opening of the Gospel of John. How dense I have been never to have noticed it. This basic truth that most Christians understand has taken me so long to appreciate.
I wrote it down because I fear my perfidious memory will not retain it.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Falling
above, stillness
a soul found suspended
by grace,
precarious by affliction
below, the squall
a lie found bobbing
on the surface,
appealing by perversion
"just a taste,
you cannot resist"
inside, the din
a soul found suspended
by grace,
precarious by affliction
below, the squall
a lie found bobbing
on the surface,
appealing by perversion
"just a taste,
you cannot resist"
inside, the din
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Little Things
all the little things we breathe
we think that are not there
are for you a food
that rejection
wouldn't dare
did you think they
were not there
because you could not see?
on and on they smite you
on and on you swear
the soup of sinisters simmers
spreading darkness and disease
all our lives we breath these things,
heedless, unwitting, merry
we think that are not there
are for you a food
that rejection
wouldn't dare
did you think they
were not there
because you could not see?
on and on they smite you
on and on you swear
the soup of sinisters simmers
spreading darkness and disease
all our lives we breath these things,
heedless, unwitting, merry
Wanna get away?
Do we really need to get away, with our problems just waiting for us when we get back? Or do we just need to find God where we are, in the ordinary circumstances of our lives, and let Him transform our hearts. Only then is everything okay.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Stacking Stones
Stone stackers. Ever seen a stack of stones? Many Buddhists stack stones as a spiritual exercise, though I know nothing about it. If you've ever seen one, they're strangely beautiful. On my commute to work everyday there is a house with several stacks in various places around the yard.
Driving home one day I started to wonder why these teetering towers of Babel are so attractive to me. The question needed to be answered because these things seem reach out to my very soul. Do these things have some sort of inherent spiritual endowment that is palpable to my soul? The thought was a little disconcerting, so I had to have an answer.
It turns out to be a simple answer that does not lead us to new-age energies, false mysticism, or even Buddhism. It is a simple answer that has three aspects, all pointing to the same person in a different way.
The first is aesthetics -- beauty itself. Stacked stones are just neat, and pleasant to look at. They have a certain symmetry and balance that make them pleasant to the eye.
But any time we encounter beauty, we encounter a little sliver of God Himself. God is beauty so perfect that it is not merely attractive, but is efficacious. Were we to behold it -- or rather, on the day we hope to behold it -- it will be sufficient to satisfy all our desires completely. So our attraction to beauty is attraction to God Himself. Therefore, my attraction to these little stone towers reveals my attraction to God.
The second aspect is order. The topic of order is probably something that could be explored at length, but I'm not going to do that. I think there is an attractiveness to order on multiple levels. There is the sense of predictability and control that order brings, and stands in opposition to all the disorder in our lives. Order itself is attractive, and again is reflective of our attraction to God, who is perfectly ordered in everything.
The third aspect is the indication of another person. Stones don't stack themselves. They are stacked by a human person, and the stack is an expression of that person. When we see it, we know vaguely the existence of the other. And as human beings created to be in relationship with others, when we encounter another, we experience, however dimly, our innate need to connect. In this case, the mystery of this anonymous other probably heightens this instinct, and we are left with just the raw need, the raw desire. It is, again, a reflection of our need to connect with Him who alone can complete us sufficiently.
So now whenever I see these little monuments of peace, I ponder gratefully the great gift that is the desire for God, and beg him to enter into my heart.
Whether any of this is universally true, or is just my personal experience, I do not know. I have a feeling that it's a little of both. But my purpose is not to define anything. Simply to share my experience and thoughts, such as they are.
Driving home one day I started to wonder why these teetering towers of Babel are so attractive to me. The question needed to be answered because these things seem reach out to my very soul. Do these things have some sort of inherent spiritual endowment that is palpable to my soul? The thought was a little disconcerting, so I had to have an answer.
It turns out to be a simple answer that does not lead us to new-age energies, false mysticism, or even Buddhism. It is a simple answer that has three aspects, all pointing to the same person in a different way.
The first is aesthetics -- beauty itself. Stacked stones are just neat, and pleasant to look at. They have a certain symmetry and balance that make them pleasant to the eye.
But any time we encounter beauty, we encounter a little sliver of God Himself. God is beauty so perfect that it is not merely attractive, but is efficacious. Were we to behold it -- or rather, on the day we hope to behold it -- it will be sufficient to satisfy all our desires completely. So our attraction to beauty is attraction to God Himself. Therefore, my attraction to these little stone towers reveals my attraction to God.
The second aspect is order. The topic of order is probably something that could be explored at length, but I'm not going to do that. I think there is an attractiveness to order on multiple levels. There is the sense of predictability and control that order brings, and stands in opposition to all the disorder in our lives. Order itself is attractive, and again is reflective of our attraction to God, who is perfectly ordered in everything.
The third aspect is the indication of another person. Stones don't stack themselves. They are stacked by a human person, and the stack is an expression of that person. When we see it, we know vaguely the existence of the other. And as human beings created to be in relationship with others, when we encounter another, we experience, however dimly, our innate need to connect. In this case, the mystery of this anonymous other probably heightens this instinct, and we are left with just the raw need, the raw desire. It is, again, a reflection of our need to connect with Him who alone can complete us sufficiently.
So now whenever I see these little monuments of peace, I ponder gratefully the great gift that is the desire for God, and beg him to enter into my heart.
Whether any of this is universally true, or is just my personal experience, I do not know. I have a feeling that it's a little of both. But my purpose is not to define anything. Simply to share my experience and thoughts, such as they are.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
August Sun
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Birthdays
Birthdays. Love them, hate them, or ignore them. But whichever you do, chances are you've given some thought, at one time or another, to the significance of your birthday. If you haven't, maybe you should.
For some of us, a birthday is little more than the commemoration of -- as one person put it -- having completed another circuit around our star. Just another passing year. Others seem daunted by the great futility of another year, or of life itself. For still others, a birthday is a day of inordinate self-indulgence, and celebration of self.
But all of these sentiments miss the significance of our birthday. A birthday is not a matter of getting older, or of completing another year, for if that is all it is, then a birthday is indeed just an empty, pointless celebration. And maybe that's why we sometimes look at the prospect of another birthday and find nothing but death, or the droning march toward death -- because the author of life has been left out of our thoughts.
A birthday is more than just another year passed, more than just a personal New Years Day. This is because the day is, as ironic as it may seem, not about us. It is about about God, who is the author of our existence. It is a celebration not of ourselves, but of God. So it can and should be a day of thanksgiving, prayer and reflection that emphasizes the goodness of God - not ourselves. Whether we've had a good year or a bad year, whether we like ourselves or not, whether we're happy or sad, we can (and should) always celebrate our birthday in a spirit of profound gratitude.
For we have indeed been given another year in which to grow in Love, but we have been given much more. We have been given many gifts -- not according to what we have earned (thank God), but entirely according to the gratuitous generosity, mercy and infinite Love that is God.
The most profound of these gifts is the gift of our existence. And it is precisely the commemoration of the miracle of our existence that we celebrate on our birthday.
Therefore, a birthday is time for renewed awareness of our intimate connection with Him who is the source of our existence -- with Him Who IS existence itself -- Who has given us a share in His life, and Who desires to unite us to Himself. It is a time to rest in reverent awe at the gifts of life, redemption and eternal life.
When we live our birthday in recollected prayer and thanksgiving we may find that the worldly events of the day become less important. Whatever happens, good or bad, the answer to the question "did you have a good birthday" always becomes "yes, I had a great birthday."
For some of us, a birthday is little more than the commemoration of -- as one person put it -- having completed another circuit around our star. Just another passing year. Others seem daunted by the great futility of another year, or of life itself. For still others, a birthday is a day of inordinate self-indulgence, and celebration of self.
But all of these sentiments miss the significance of our birthday. A birthday is not a matter of getting older, or of completing another year, for if that is all it is, then a birthday is indeed just an empty, pointless celebration. And maybe that's why we sometimes look at the prospect of another birthday and find nothing but death, or the droning march toward death -- because the author of life has been left out of our thoughts.
A birthday is more than just another year passed, more than just a personal New Years Day. This is because the day is, as ironic as it may seem, not about us. It is about about God, who is the author of our existence. It is a celebration not of ourselves, but of God. So it can and should be a day of thanksgiving, prayer and reflection that emphasizes the goodness of God - not ourselves. Whether we've had a good year or a bad year, whether we like ourselves or not, whether we're happy or sad, we can (and should) always celebrate our birthday in a spirit of profound gratitude.
For we have indeed been given another year in which to grow in Love, but we have been given much more. We have been given many gifts -- not according to what we have earned (thank God), but entirely according to the gratuitous generosity, mercy and infinite Love that is God.
The most profound of these gifts is the gift of our existence. And it is precisely the commemoration of the miracle of our existence that we celebrate on our birthday.
Therefore, a birthday is time for renewed awareness of our intimate connection with Him who is the source of our existence -- with Him Who IS existence itself -- Who has given us a share in His life, and Who desires to unite us to Himself. It is a time to rest in reverent awe at the gifts of life, redemption and eternal life.
When we live our birthday in recollected prayer and thanksgiving we may find that the worldly events of the day become less important. Whatever happens, good or bad, the answer to the question "did you have a good birthday" always becomes "yes, I had a great birthday."
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